It’s been a while since I posted a blog or made a video. Lightyears in the blogging/vlogging world. I didn’t do it on purpose, it happened because I am going through a massive energetic shift and I wasn’t able to do that in front of anyone. I went into my cocoon and I transformed. Silently.
Our world today is designed for instant gratification and rapid fire continuous communication. More and more people are Tweeting, Facebook-ing, YouTube-ing, Skype-ing, Texting, GooglePlus-ing, & Instagram-ing to the point where we are not only utterly lacking in mystery but we are forgetting about our own communion with The Great Mystery.
Not me. I am hard wired to stay connected to the Divine, and I realize now more than ever that it’s my life’s purpose to help you remember who you are and why you are here. And if it means you take some time away from “the world” and retreat into your inner world for a little while till you find your center, I enthusiastically cheer you on.
I have also felt the pressure to move forward at other people’s paces and do “what I am supposed to” – and I have to keep asking myself, according to what law?! When you plant a seed in the earth and give it all the right conditions to grow, you can’t force it to grow at your pace. It has it’s own internal clock. So do we, and I guarantee you that each of us has our own divine time to bloom.
This reminds me of a moment in my life I will never forget. At the time my parents were in the process of breaking up their 27 year marriage. My mom needed to drive my sister to the train station. I had just returned from a week-long yoga retreat and was peacefully getting ready for the day, moving inside my own sacred rhythm. My family was rushing me, telling me that I was too slow for them, that I should hurry up, and I remember feeling pushed to the point where my body was forced to move faster than my spirit. I felt like I was being pushed out of myself. We got in the car headed for the train station, driving through our neighborhood our usual way. When my mom crossed through a main intersection, a careless man reaching for his cell phone while driving way above the speed limit – ran a red light and crashed head-on into us, totalling our car. As the windows shattered, and I prayed for my family’s safety – my super consciousness saw everything happen in supreme slow motion. I saw tiny particles of glass shattering, just like you might see in a film, and exploding outward – making me realize that time is truly an illusion.
That day, the three of us suffered some internal injuries that took years to heal, but thankfully, we all survived. Months later, while meditating in a Zen Buddhist Temple, I realized that if I had just stayed true to my own internal rhythm – we would have left the house a few minutes later. My sister might have missed the train, but we wouldn’t have been in such a horrible accident. Just my reminder to stay centered and trust myself even when no one else does.
Sometimes I think my friends and family have a hard time understanding why I need so much personal space. To me it seems natural to be connected to my essence, and I feel out of alignment when I am pushed and forced to comply with other people’s agendas. I know that each of us are born with our own programming, our own unique design, and I am stepping more completely into mine. Its taken me years of learning, growing, shedding, crying, healing, painting, meditating, dancing, writing and pouring myself into my music to trust my inner voice. I have had to face my fears head on, bravely walk through them to ultimately be able to transcend them. Like weeds in the garden of my mind, they keep appearing and I keep plucking them out.
When I allow myself to be afraid, I am reminded that I am allowing myself to forget that I AM LOVE.
I am in the process of getting ready to release my first “official’ single. It’s a song about Reclaiming your personal power. And about Bravery in the face of utter despair and such complete loss to the point of feeling like you are almost dead. It’s potently titled “Barely Alive.” I believe that sometimes you have to reach a breaking point before you are able to create that positive change, so you contract to the point of almost dying to know that you want to live, grow, expand, and move to that higher level of energy and awareness that peaceful warrior and best-selling author Dan Millman speaks about. You reach a breaking point, come to a crossroad, and leap into the unknown.
When you stay true to the soft still voice and steady natural rhythm beating inside of you, the decisions you make are ultimate extensions of that truth – and I believe they can save your life.